Sunshine

Almost every civilization on earth uses the sun as an important symbol,most commonly as a symbol of health and immortal life.I truly feel that the past couple of weeks,the sun has exerted an almost magical effect on mum.Its rays seem to have permeated her body and have given her a sense of well-being and vitality.Its also worked wonders on me.I feel more relaxed, happier and positive.Whatever this coming year has in store,I think I am in a better position to cope with what lies ahead.

The ancient Mayans of this region of Latin America had a very complex society with multiple gods each representing an aspect of human nature or aspects of the natural world.Two of the gods seem especially relevant for us now-Ah Kinchil , the Mayan god of the sun ,controlling drought and disease and Ahau Chamahez,the Mayan god of medicine .

The gods may or may not decide what lies ahead,but what I do know is that the only thing we really can control is how we cope with the vicissitudes of life . We have a choice,to interpret unfortunate events in a positive or negative way-constructive or destructive.

This is represented clearly in Mayan mythology.All the Mayan gods were all dualistic and some had a malevolent side.Only the circle symbolized perfection or the balancing of forces.

To fully embrace the light,you have to face the dark.To appreciate happiness,you also have to understand sorrow.This is part of our own human life cycle. All of us have to make sense of the time we have been given and inhabit the world in a way that makes sense to us individually.

We can choose to hope or choose to fear.This is both our challenge and our opportunity.

Adventures on Isla Mujeres !

It's hard to be in Mexico and not be reminded of the iconic artist Frieda Kahlo. I'd like to find out more about Mexican art, the tacky shops of this area are quite awful with a "made in China" vibe.Even the ancient Mayan civilization is exploited and bastardized with huge hotels in the shape of temples emerging like a mirage on the skyline of Cancun.

Today , mum and I had a fabulous adventure . We rented a golf cart and toured the island . It was great fun .

I'll post some pictures tomorrow . It was a lovely day....we could'nt have asked for more.

Island Escape

Hola Amigos ! We are officially on island time - Isla Mujeres to be precise.We said goodbye to the family yesterday in Cancun after a glorious ten days. Quite spontaneously,we decided to stay on in Mexico for a few more days. I had a teeny bit of guilt putting Colin on the plane by himself but that evaporated once the plane took off safely. He is headed off to Michigan with his dad for a week.

We are staying at a lovely B&B ,Casa Sirena and we could'nt be more relaxed. It's surprising how quickly we have settled into the groove here. Breakfast outside, head to the beach and then "happy hour" and dinner at 5.30. It's easy, simple and peaceful.

We've met several people here that came on vacation and never went home. Their stories have made me reflect on my own life in Canada. These past couple of weeks have only emphasized to me the importance of not getting all worked up over stupid things. Shopping malls, highways and the big house in the suburbs hold little appeal for me nowdays. My mums illness has also underscored the importance of my family and friends. Material possesions seem irrelevant in the big picture.

(Note to self - must get rid of my U-Haul locker full of stuff that I don't use)

Steve, the owner of Casa Sirena is an American ex-pat who gave up his old life in Minnesota to find a simpler, easier way of life in Mexico. I asked him if he was worried about taking such a big risk and plunging into the relative unknown. He said very emphatically that he was far more scared of NOT making a change. After a year of running the B&B , he can't imagine ever returning .

There's a (big) part of me that has an "escape" fantasy . I felt this even last year when I spent time on the Pacific coast of Mexico. So,I think at the very least, I have to take some spanish lessons.When I am back in Canada and it's freezing cold, I'll practice a few Spanish phrases to evoke the memories of this delightful country.

Buonas noches de México hermoso

Merry Christmas To All Our Friends And Family

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

Sitting In The Sand

Sitting in the sand and the sea comes up
so you put your hands together
And you use them like a cup
And you dip them in the water
With a scooping kind of motion
And before the sea goes out again

You have a sip of ocean.

Karla Kuskin

Beautiful Ocean

I can't fly, but swimming is the next best thing.... The water is my sky. ~Author Unknown

Sunshine and swimming with the dolphins

Mother , brother, sister

A perfect day

Lexi and Grandma

Relaxation begins

I thought we were never going to get out of Toronto . Unfortunately ,the storm lived up to expectations and so we decided to leave early for the airport and stay overnight in a hotel . That turned out to be a disaster as we ended up getting the Mini stuck in the snow . Poor Colin had to run (in his crocs ) through the snow drifts to get help at the hotel! This was all at midnight and so by the time we ended up flopping into bed, we were exhausted .

Today , our travel (mis) adventures all seem like a distant memory as we awoke to turquoise ocean , swaying palm trees and Pina Coladas by the pool. Our hotel lives up to all expectations.We are in the Mexican Riviera and it is truly stunning.

It was wonderful of course to see the girls , Andrew and Hilary and we spent a lovely and relaxing first day all together . The highlight of the day was afternoon tea with champagne and "petit fours" . This was all very refined with the sax player and the gorgeous views setting the scene.

It's been a long tme since we were all together and it feels just great !

Yuck !

GTA Braces For What Might Be The Worst All-Day Storm In 60 Years Saturday December 15, 2007
It happens maybe once every winter - a storm so fierce and so serious that you'll remember it for years to come and maybe maybe one day tell your kids how you lived through it.Whether that happens to be the storm that's coming Sunday remains to be seen. But forecasters are calling this a major weather event with potentially serious consequences. Others just call it a good old fashioned nor'easter.Whatever your name for it, the system that started deep in the heart of Texas is expected to strike right in the face of southern Ontario and leave few areas spared. We could get up to 30 cm of snow or more if it tracks the way experts think, potentially making it the biggest such one day snowfall in Ontario for the month of December since 1944. Forecasters are also calling for gusty winds and blowing snow mixed with ice pellets at times. City News

I've blogged quite a lot about the weather recently . It seems as though it's beginning to be a big deal for us recently as we have been back and forth a lot between Oakville, St Catherine's and Buffalo. We are very aware of the weather forcast and road conditions which tend to deteriorate as soon as we cross the Burlington skybridge. Today is especially gruesome though. We are hunkered down waiting for the big storm to hit .

We tried to do some last minute shopping done on the Lakeshore today . Mum appeared like a shimmering mirage in a bright , fluffy purple coat that wrapped her up like a huge duvet. All I saw was a head with a red hat poking through . It was quite funny ! We were literally SCREAMING with cold as we walked along the street with the wind howling and the snow blowing. It's hard to describe....you had to be there. Colin is totally unaffected by the weather ....he wore his Crocs and no jacket today quite happily . He refuses to wear winter boots and just soldiers on.

I'm sure my good friend Maureen thinks this weather is nothing !She spent many years in Nunavut and recently moved down to Toronto permanently. This climate is probably relatively tropical for her ! I really must get a grip and stop moaning . It's quite pathetic of me.

Lets hope we get off on time to Mexico on Monday. We can't wait....some gorgeous sunshine, plenty of relaxation with my brother , Hilary and the girls . For mum, this is so long overdue , the heat on her bones is exactly what she needs and deserves.

I think a prayer to St Christopher, patron saint of travel, is called for ......

Please, please, please if anyone up there is listening to me ,let us get on that flight without any major delays !

That Christmas Feeling

It's getting to be a lot like christmas ! This year the christmas tree at New York's Rockefeller Centre will use 30,000 energy efficient LED lights strung on five miles of wire. Apparently the bulbs will save as much electricity per day as a single family in a 2,000-square-foot home uses in a month. The tree itself was cut down by handsaw to minimize pollution and at the end of the holiday season, the tree will be made into lumber to be used by Habitat for Humanity .



Mum has always enjoyed christmas . In particular , she quite likes the idea (if not the reality) of our snowy Ontario winters . We've done some christmas shopping today and we wrote and delivered some christmas cards to the some of the staff and volunteers and volunteers at Roswell . I think they really enjoy a hand written card , it reminds them that they do some very special work with cancer patients and their families.

In terms of her health, mum had a great early christmas present. She had a clean bill of health from Dr O'Conner . Apparently her latest hemoglobin count of 15.6 is unheard of at the clinic . Nobody has results that good ! Her other results are excellent too. The CA27-29 is 4.6 and her CEA is 1.7 .

Good to know too that today was mums last appointment of the year. She's not due to come back to the hospital until January 7th and with a trip to Mexico to look forward to, she's pretty happy right now .

Hair

Mum has had a few rough days with back pain this week but then rebounded after rest and plenty of pain killers.I always know that she is doing reasonably well if she is bothered by her hair. Since her radiation in the summer her hair has thinned out a little and has changed in texture. Her once curly hair has gone straight and it is very fine . She is quite despairing of it ever returning to normal but I can see that it is finally starting to grow and thicken(it's really not that bad).

I popped in to see her this evening at he condo and I was relieved to see that her major concern was her hair. This is a good sign.She's been to bridge a couple of times and her book club this morning . I think that it is very important to her to look good.It raises her spirits and gives her a sense of normalcy. Small things matter. The outward appearance can really make a difference to how you feel inside.

It's Always Something

Gilda Radner was a well known comedian who died of ovarian cancer in 1989 . Her biggest legacy was her work in raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer and the genetic link between breast and ovarian cancer. After her death , her husband the actor Gene Wilder , her psychotherapist Joanna Bull and the film critic Joel Siegal established Gildas Club a place of support for cancer patients and their families.



Radner was a gifted performer who managed to capture the experience of cancer in a way that allowed her to use humour as a way to empathizing with other people going through similar experiences. She said very poignantly , "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end" .

I hear ya' Gilda ! We don't like it and we don't want it. It's unfair and,to use the wonderful American expression, it "sucks" but the bad news is that Mum has been in pain the last couple of days. Not a "twinge" or an "ache" ,she's been struggling. Today she told me that she was feeling tired of it all and as turned to her at the front door of her condo, I could clearly see that she was looking and feeling more frail . She even talked about cancelling bridge with her friend Joan and just taking to her bed. It's not like mum to feel discouraged.

It is upsetting. Just as she makes some progress ,a clear MRI scan and plenty to look forward to , she has to contend with something else .

Oh well , in the words of Gilda , "Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily” . We'll get through this and we'll get mum to the warm sunny beaches of Mexico thirteen days from today. In the meantime, she'll have to rest, take plenty of pain killers and if necessary, we'll go to Roswell this week and check in again with her doctor.

Here We go ...Winter is well on it's way

I took this picture of Colin exactly two years ago outside our old house. I love the photo of Colin but it reminds me that winter is on its way . According to environment Canada, thanks to La Nina we are going to have the coldest winter in recent memory. Every year I wonder if I can really get through this season ? I'll never really be a Canadian if it means that I have to embrace the winter ! Confession ....I don't like hot chocolate, snuggling in front of a warm fire and crisp cold days....any of that stuff.

My mother doesn't like it either ....she really can't handle the Canadian weather. I suspect that all those years in South Africa permanently warmed up her blood.

There's only so much .......

Mum saw the dentist at Roswell Park and thankfully she doesn't have osteo-necrosis - she really has a tooth growing ! It's a big relief because she's had enough to deal with. In fact mum has been poked, prodded,zapped and radiated enough . It's time now to take a rest and in her words "there's only so much a poor body can take" . She decided to postpone the upper G.I test next week and only go back to the hospital one more time for her Zometa infusion on December 11th .

The driving back and forth to Buffalo is beginning to get difficult with the winter closing in. We had a nasty drive home today with white-out conditions from Buffalo to St Catherine's. We feel though that it's still worth making the effort to go to Roswell. Mum gets such excellent care that it's hard to think about changing doctors at this point . We just have to deal with the weather and make the most out of the trip .

Mum never , ever complains ....not once.