Saturday, December 29

Sunshine

Almost every civilization on earth uses the sun as an important symbol,most commonly as a symbol of health and immortal life.I truly feel that the past couple of weeks,the sun has exerted an almost magical effect on mum.Its rays seem to have permeated her body and have given her a sense of well-being and vitality.Its also worked wonders on me.I feel more relaxed, happier and positive.Whatever this coming year has in store,I think I am in a better position to cope with what lies ahead.

The ancient Mayans of this region of Latin America had a very complex society with multiple gods each representing an aspect of human nature or aspects of the natural world.Two of the gods seem especially relevant for us now-Ah Kinchil , the Mayan god of the sun ,controlling drought and disease and Ahau Chamahez,the Mayan god of medicine .

The gods may or may not decide what lies ahead,but what I do know is that the only thing we really can control is how we cope with the vicissitudes of life . We have a choice,to interpret unfortunate events in a positive or negative way-constructive or destructive.

This is represented clearly in Mayan mythology.All the Mayan gods were all dualistic and some had a malevolent side.Only the circle symbolized perfection or the balancing of forces.

To fully embrace the light,you have to face the dark.To appreciate happiness,you also have to understand sorrow.This is part of our own human life cycle. All of us have to make sense of the time we have been given and inhabit the world in a way that makes sense to us individually.

We can choose to hope or choose to fear.This is both our challenge and our opportunity.

Adventures on Isla Mujeres !

Friday, December 28

It's hard to be in Mexico and not be reminded of the iconic artist Frieda Kahlo. I'd like to find out more about Mexican art, the tacky shops of this area are quite awful with a "made in China" vibe.Even the ancient Mayan civilization is exploited and bastardized with huge hotels in the shape of temples emerging like a mirage on the skyline of Cancun.

Today , mum and I had a fabulous adventure . We rented a golf cart and toured the island . It was great fun .

I'll post some pictures tomorrow . It was a lovely day....we could'nt have asked for more.

Thursday, December 27

Island Escape

Hola Amigos ! We are officially on island time - Isla Mujeres to be precise.We said goodbye to the family yesterday in Cancun after a glorious ten days. Quite spontaneously,we decided to stay on in Mexico for a few more days. I had a teeny bit of guilt putting Colin on the plane by himself but that evaporated once the plane took off safely. He is headed off to Michigan with his dad for a week.

We are staying at a lovely B&B ,Casa Sirena and we could'nt be more relaxed. It's surprising how quickly we have settled into the groove here. Breakfast outside, head to the beach and then "happy hour" and dinner at 5.30. It's easy, simple and peaceful.

We've met several people here that came on vacation and never went home. Their stories have made me reflect on my own life in Canada. These past couple of weeks have only emphasized to me the importance of not getting all worked up over stupid things. Shopping malls, highways and the big house in the suburbs hold little appeal for me nowdays. My mums illness has also underscored the importance of my family and friends. Material possesions seem irrelevant in the big picture.

(Note to self - must get rid of my U-Haul locker full of stuff that I don't use)

Steve, the owner of Casa Sirena is an American ex-pat who gave up his old life in Minnesota to find a simpler, easier way of life in Mexico. I asked him if he was worried about taking such a big risk and plunging into the relative unknown. He said very emphatically that he was far more scared of NOT making a change. After a year of running the B&B , he can't imagine ever returning .

There's a (big) part of me that has an "escape" fantasy . I felt this even last year when I spent time on the Pacific coast of Mexico. So,I think at the very least, I have to take some spanish lessons.When I am back in Canada and it's freezing cold, I'll practice a few Spanish phrases to evoke the memories of this delightful country.

Buonas noches de México hermoso

Sunday, December 23

Saturday, December 22

Sitting In The Sand

Sitting in the sand and the sea comes up
so you put your hands together
And you use them like a cup
And you dip them in the water
With a scooping kind of motion
And before the sea goes out again

You have a sip of ocean.

Karla Kuskin

Beautiful Ocean

I can't fly, but swimming is the next best thing.... The water is my sky. ~Author Unknown

Tuesday, December 18

Lexi and Grandma


Relaxation begins

I thought we were never going to get out of Toronto . Unfortunately ,the storm lived up to expectations and so we decided to leave early for the airport and stay overnight in a hotel . That turned out to be a disaster as we ended up getting the Mini stuck in the snow . Poor Colin had to run (in his crocs ) through the snow drifts to get help at the hotel! This was all at midnight and so by the time we ended up flopping into bed, we were exhausted .

Today , our travel (mis) adventures all seem like a distant memory as we awoke to turquoise ocean , swaying palm trees and Pina Coladas by the pool. Our hotel lives up to all expectations.We are in the Mexican Riviera and it is truly stunning.

It was wonderful of course to see the girls , Andrew and Hilary and we spent a lovely and relaxing first day all together . The highlight of the day was afternoon tea with champagne and "petit fours" . This was all very refined with the sax player and the gorgeous views setting the scene.

It's been a long tme since we were all together and it feels just great !

Saturday, December 15

Yuck !

GTA Braces For What Might Be The Worst All-Day Storm In 60 Years Saturday December 15, 2007
It happens maybe once every winter - a storm so fierce and so serious that you'll remember it for years to come and maybe maybe one day tell your kids how you lived through it.Whether that happens to be the storm that's coming Sunday remains to be seen. But forecasters are calling this a major weather event with potentially serious consequences. Others just call it a good old fashioned nor'easter.Whatever your name for it, the system that started deep in the heart of Texas is expected to strike right in the face of southern Ontario and leave few areas spared. We could get up to 30 cm of snow or more if it tracks the way experts think, potentially making it the biggest such one day snowfall in Ontario for the month of December since 1944. Forecasters are also calling for gusty winds and blowing snow mixed with ice pellets at times.
City News

I've blogged quite a lot about the weather recently . It seems as though it's beginning to be a big deal for us recently as we have been back and forth a lot between Oakville, St Catherine's and Buffalo. We are very aware of the weather forcast and road conditions which tend to deteriorate as soon as we cross the Burlington skybridge. Today is especially gruesome though. We are hunkered down waiting for the big storm to hit .

We tried to do some last minute shopping done on the Lakeshore today . Mum appeared like a shimmering mirage in a bright , fluffy purple coat that wrapped her up like a huge duvet. All I saw was a head with a red hat poking through . It was quite funny ! We were literally SCREAMING with cold as we walked along the street with the wind howling and the snow blowing. It's hard to describe....you had to be there. Colin is totally unaffected by the weather ....he wore his Crocs and no jacket today quite happily . He refuses to wear winter boots and just soldiers on.

I'm sure my good friend Maureen thinks this weather is nothing !She spent many years in Nunavut and recently moved down to Toronto permanently. This climate is probably relatively tropical for her ! I really must get a grip and stop moaning . It's quite pathetic of me.

Lets hope we get off on time to Mexico on Monday. We can't wait....some gorgeous sunshine, plenty of relaxation with my brother , Hilary and the girls . For mum, this is so long overdue , the heat on her bones is exactly what she needs and deserves.

I think a prayer to St Christopher, patron saint of travel, is called for ......

Please, please, please if anyone up there is listening to me ,let us get on that flight without any major delays !

Tuesday, December 11

That Christmas Feeling

It's getting to be a lot like christmas ! This year the christmas tree at New York's Rockefeller Centre will use 30,000 energy efficient LED lights strung on five miles of wire. Apparently the bulbs will save as much electricity per day as a single family in a 2,000-square-foot home uses in a month. The tree itself was cut down by handsaw to minimize pollution and at the end of the holiday season, the tree will be made into lumber to be used by Habitat for Humanity .



Mum has always enjoyed christmas . In particular , she quite likes the idea (if not the reality) of our snowy Ontario winters . We've done some christmas shopping today and we wrote and delivered some christmas cards to the some of the staff and volunteers and volunteers at Roswell . I think they really enjoy a hand written card , it reminds them that they do some very special work with cancer patients and their families.

In terms of her health, mum had a great early christmas present. She had a clean bill of health from Dr O'Conner . Apparently her latest hemoglobin count of 15.6 is unheard of at the clinic . Nobody has results that good ! Her other results are excellent too. The CA27-29 is 4.6 and her CEA is 1.7 .

Good to know too that today was mums last appointment of the year. She's not due to come back to the hospital until January 7th and with a trip to Mexico to look forward to, she's pretty happy right now .

Friday, December 7

Hair

Mum has had a few rough days with back pain this week but then rebounded after rest and plenty of pain killers.I always know that she is doing reasonably well if she is bothered by her hair. Since her radiation in the summer her hair has thinned out a little and has changed in texture. Her once curly hair has gone straight and it is very fine . She is quite despairing of it ever returning to normal but I can see that it is finally starting to grow and thicken(it's really not that bad).

I popped in to see her this evening at he condo and I was relieved to see that her major concern was her hair. This is a good sign.She's been to bridge a couple of times and her book club this morning . I think that it is very important to her to look good.It raises her spirits and gives her a sense of normalcy. Small things matter. The outward appearance can really make a difference to how you feel inside.

Monday, December 3

It's Always Something

Gilda Radner was a well known comedian who died of ovarian cancer in 1989 . Her biggest legacy was her work in raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer and the genetic link between breast and ovarian cancer. After her death , her husband the actor Gene Wilder , her psychotherapist Joanna Bull and the film critic Joel Siegal established Gildas Club a place of support for cancer patients and their families.



Radner was a gifted performer who managed to capture the experience of cancer in a way that allowed her to use humour as a way to empathizing with other people going through similar experiences. She said very poignantly , "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end" .

I hear ya' Gilda ! We don't like it and we don't want it. It's unfair and,to use the wonderful American expression, it "sucks" but the bad news is that Mum has been in pain the last couple of days. Not a "twinge" or an "ache" ,she's been struggling. Today she told me that she was feeling tired of it all and as turned to her at the front door of her condo, I could clearly see that she was looking and feeling more frail . She even talked about cancelling bridge with her friend Joan and just taking to her bed. It's not like mum to feel discouraged.

It is upsetting. Just as she makes some progress ,a clear MRI scan and plenty to look forward to , she has to contend with something else .

Oh well , in the words of Gilda , "Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily” . We'll get through this and we'll get mum to the warm sunny beaches of Mexico thirteen days from today. In the meantime, she'll have to rest, take plenty of pain killers and if necessary, we'll go to Roswell this week and check in again with her doctor.

Saturday, December 1

Here We go ...Winter is well on it's way

I took this picture of Colin exactly two years ago outside our old house. I love the photo of Colin but it reminds me that winter is on its way . According to environment Canada, thanks to La Nina we are going to have the coldest winter in recent memory. Every year I wonder if I can really get through this season ? I'll never really be a Canadian if it means that I have to embrace the winter ! Confession ....I don't like hot chocolate, snuggling in front of a warm fire and crisp cold days....any of that stuff.

My mother doesn't like it either ....she really can't handle the Canadian weather. I suspect that all those years in South Africa permanently warmed up her blood.

There's only so much .......

Mum saw the dentist at Roswell Park and thankfully she doesn't have osteo-necrosis - she really has a tooth growing ! It's a big relief because she's had enough to deal with. In fact mum has been poked, prodded,zapped and radiated enough . It's time now to take a rest and in her words "there's only so much a poor body can take" . She decided to postpone the upper G.I test next week and only go back to the hospital one more time for her Zometa infusion on December 11th .

The driving back and forth to Buffalo is beginning to get difficult with the winter closing in. We had a nasty drive home today with white-out conditions from Buffalo to St Catherine's. We feel though that it's still worth making the effort to go to Roswell. Mum gets such excellent care that it's hard to think about changing doctors at this point . We just have to deal with the weather and make the most out of the trip .

Mum never , ever complains ....not once.

Wednesday, November 28

A quiet Few days in Oakville

Things didn't go too well when we picked Colin up from school. He had a minor accident involving a door and ended up with concussion . On Monday I got a call from the school to bring him home for "cognitive rest " and so he has been receiving TLC from mum (Moira). We've watched endless reruns of "The O.C" ,a show he likes on T.V and having a laugh watching "Fawlty Towers" and "Little Britain". Colin loves British comedy. It's something about the wry, sardonic humour that tickles his funnybone !

Mum is doing extremely well . Her appetite seems better recently. Chinese food and pizza on the weekend and she seems more active and positive. She's bound to have had some niggling stress about the brain MRI .The positive results will undoubtedly lift her spirits. We are back at Roswell on Thursday for an appointment with the dentist . This works out well as we will drop Colin off at school on the way down and pick him up on Friday as usual .

It's getting very cold and wintry now and so we have to be quite aware of the weather forecast. There's a big snow storm blowing into Buffalo today . Odd,as it's a gorgeous sunny morning in Oakville.

Friday, November 23

On the way home

It will be good to get back . While the Doubletree is nice, it gets wearing after a couple of days . Mum is scheduled to have an endoscopy done on December 6th to try to get to the bottom of the nausea . She will be sedated and the whole thing will probably take up most of the day .

Hmmmm..... the next couple of weeks are going to involve a lot of backwards and forwards to Buffalo . It was good to have that break last month . I find a hospital is a bit like a casino , there are lots of flashing lights , rooms with no windows and the results are basically a metaphorical roll of the dice .

The good news is that we get to pick Colin up at school today . It seems like a long time since I saw him . He missed his basketball game this week due to bad weather and he has two tests today and end of term exams in two weeks . It's hard to believe that his first term at Ridley will soon be over . I can't even imagine how I would have managed everything with mum if Colin was'nt a boarder and more importantly, happy and settled at school .

Thursday, November 22

Hello From Celia

Hello everybody, this is a photo of me taken on a cold winter , freezing Buffalo day . That is why I am wearing my hat. Do you like it ? Moira and I went to a really lovely restaurant this evening for American thanksgiving.

At long last, this is really me writing on the blog! It has been several months now and I haven't really been at my computer at all. However, I am using Moira's blog to say a big, big thank you to all of you who have sent me emails, letters, cards , presents etc etc etc . There are too many of you to thank individually.

I would however like to give a special thanks to my nephew Frank Booth who came all the way from New Zealand for two weeks to help and support me. I was very touched and I just cannot thank him enough . We've had some good laughs Frank and you were very, very patient with me (particularly in the hospital !) .

I'd like to also also mention my friend Viv for her constant letters of support and to my cousin Sheila - thank you Sheila for that lovely CD . Thanks also to Anne and Peter for their constant good wishes .

Mainly , I would like to thank Moira and Andrew. I think Moira's blog is first class and she has never left my side since the day the illness was first diagnosed. We've also had lots of laughter together . Andrew, what can I say about you ? You have been over from BC to Ontario several times to be with me, you've sat with me in hospital , even though I know it's not one of your favourite places . Andrew has topped everything by organized a lovely trip to Cancun for all of us at Christmas. It will be so wonderful to be with all my grandchildren .

I cannot finish without saying a thank you to my friends in Oakville and of course Doug - you have always been there for me .

I am feeling much, much better now and it looks as though the treatment is working. I am feeling very positive and I'm almost back to normal. I will still have to be a regular visitor to the hospital in Buffalo . Everyone here has been so kind and I could not have done this without Moira always driving me , Andrew paying all the hotel expenses and Doug for handling all the insurance paperwork.


I promise to write to you all individually before Christmas.

Thanks again and bye, bye for now.

Celia .

Happy (American ) Thanksgiving

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance,chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpectedinto perfect timing and mistakes into important events.Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”— Melodie Beattie







This was a beautiful editorial in the Buffalo news today . It was so good , I just had to share it . It's been a cold, wet thanksgiving here in Buffalo and we spent most of the day huddled in our cosy room at the Doubletree !

The grateful heart Counting our blessings is never enough. We need to pass them on.

Today is a holiday. So we will give that editorial part of ourselves that is never satisfied — that voice that views with alarm, thunders for action or fairly oozes with disappointment, that personality that comes down out of the hills after the battle to shoot the wounded — the day off.

Instead, we will do this day, Thanksgiving Day, the honor of taking it seriously. But not passively. Because it is the function of this space to call for something, even on holidays. We will commend your attention to the virtues of thankfulness, of gratitude, even of acceptance, as a foundation for a well-lived life.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, it is the parentof all the others.”— Cicero

To be grateful for what one has is not the same as being an overstuffed lump in front of the television, pleasant and well-honored as today’s tradition might be. Nor does thankfulness mean a resigned acceptance of things that are truly wrong, in your life, the lives of others or the happenings in your community and around the world.

But to be thankful, to feel it and express it, can drain the selfishness, and the self-pity, out of how a person looks at life and chooses to live it. It is hard to be truly thankful for secure families, warm homes, full bellies, thriving children and healthy bodies, or whatever portion of that one may have, without on some level pledging to preserve it for oneself and wishing the same for others.

To only denigrate what one has, to focus on the feeling that it is not enough, not so much as the other person has, not as nice as life looks on TV or in the slick magazines, is the road to neither personal fulfillment nor social responsibility. That kind of thanklessness leads to the soul-eating discontent that causes jealousy, envy and conflict, that encourages crime both on the street and in the executive suite, and can turn life into a never-ending competition for goods or status that can never be fully achieved.

“The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.No Americans have been more impoverished than these who,nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.”— H.U. Westermayer

As easy as it is to forget in our turkey-gorged stupor, the history of Thanksgiving in America is not one of merely sitting at the table and receiving an extra large helping of all the good things life has provided us up to now.

Thanksgiving is a holiday created by the suffering Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony, who barely survived their first winter in their strange new land. It was made official by Abraham Lincoln, even as he presided over what he rightly described as “a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity,” suffering that he interpreted as punishment for the nation’s sin of slavery. In neither case did appreciation for the good that life offered rise from a perfect existence. In neither case did it lead to anything other than a desire, a duty, to build upon whatever there was to be thankful for, to share it with family, with countrymen and with posterity. In both cases, the choice to see the good — and it is a choice — provided an encouragement to
make it still better for still more people.

“One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay ‘in kind’ somewhere else in life.”— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Americans who have much to be thankful for, and that includes nearly all of us, are drawn to family and friends at this time of year. In part, that attraction is a way to express, with our mere presence if not in actual words, the gratitude we feel toward them for the many favors they have done for us. But the list of those who have created our society and our world is so long, and goes so far back in time, that it is impossible to repay, reward, even to praise, all those we owe.

So accept the gifts, but don’t even try to pay them back. Pass them on. Express thankfulness in ways great and small, from words of kindness to a stranger, to voluntary service for local causes, to a willingness to pay one’s taxes and then pay attention to make sure the money goes for the proper purposes.

The devotion to improving our lives, our communities and our nation need not, and most often does not, arise from resentment or anger. It comes from a feeling that to whom much is given, much is also expected.

Much has been given us. Much more will follow, as long as we are thankful.

Reproduced from the Buffalo News November 22nd 2007

Wednesday, November 21

The Latest on Mum

Today was a long day . The good news was that again, mums brain is "unremarkable" and there is "no evidence of intracranial mass lesions". Her blood work was great , CEA is 2.3 , down from 3.2 in October and her CA 27-29 is 4.3, down from 4.5 . Dr O'Conner and the nurses felt that mum looked very well . Her weight has dropped to 162 lbs but that was not an issue for concern .
With respect to the weight loss, there's no doubt that mum has two issues going on. She has the ongoing nausea and she feels her taste buds have been affected from the radiation . The only food she really enjoys now is very spicy flavours and she can only eat a few bites .

But ...... we couldn't get out of the hospital without one thing going wrong . Turns out , mum went to the dentist on Oakville last week and she suspected that mum may have a wisdom tooth growing . When mum mentioned this to Dr O'Conner, she was'nt too happy because the issue that comes to her mind is osteonecrosis of the jaw - a potential , but rare, side effect of Zometa . She said that she wants mum to see Dr Maureen Sullivan a dental oncologist at Roswell for follow up .
The Zometa infusion was cancelled for today and if there is bone necrosis, mum may have to stop the drug permanently . Obviously, this is worrying, but we don't want to jump to any conclusions right now until we know what we are dealing with . Hopefully it is something that can be sorted out and mum can resume the Zometa . The drug is working for her and it would be best to continue for as long as possible . Dr O'Conner did reassure mum that if Zometa had to be discontinued, she may already have had the maximum positive impact on the bones .There is a shortage of clinical trials to establish optimal dosing for Zometa . It's not 100% clear if the Zometa even needs to be given monthly after a certain point .

My sense is that the Zometa and the Aromasin have done wonders for mum . Compared to the worry in the summer that she was at risk for hip fracture and other ghastly things, she is bouncing around like a new person !

Postscript

Yes, I admit it, I was in a bad mood last night when blogged about the insane amounts of money being spent on the war . It is simplistic I know to link the cost of the war with problems of health insurance for many Americans . The thing is, that the longer you spend in Buffalo, the more you are aware of the grinding poverty that exists literally the next block over from one of the finest hospitals in the nation. We would be in total la la land NOT to notice the differences .

Tuesday, November 20

Back in Buffalo

Here we go again ....this time it's a busy week. Mum had an MRI brain scan today , she's got Dr O'Conner Wednesday and a G.I test on Friday focusing on her stomach and oesophagus to try and get to the cause of the nausea .

Thursday is Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S and Friday marks an orgy of shopping. Some stores in the Walden Galleria mall are opening at 4am to allow mad bargain shoppers to get a head start. Now that the Canadian Dollar is so strong, you see the parking lot of the mall littered with discarded old clothes , bags and boxes . The Canadians like the great deals and avoiding duty is almost becoming a bit of a game !

Right by a trash can at the entrance to the mall we saw a discarded pair of Ugg Boots . I couldn't believe it and immediately grabbed them (but they were a size 7 ) The former owner had obviously purchased an even better, nicer pair of boots and just dumped her old ones .

While people are picking up bargains at Target, there is an ethical emergancy in this country and the lack of accessible healthcare is only the tip of the iceberg.

On our drive home, late at night , through the deserted downtown Buffalo streets and boarded up buildings we saw plenty of shopping carts . This time they were full and were pushed by shuffling homeless men and women .

Something is broken here ....how is it possible in this wealthy economy that such abject poverty coexists with enormous affluence ? President Bush has recently asked congress for $200 billion in supplemental financing for war operations but has pledged to veto a children's health bill standing before congress . Apparently , he said something about the president’s responsibility to rein in lawmakers’ “temptation to overspend.”

Starting at Sept. 11, 2001, war-fighting expenses total in excess of a staggering $800 billion and that's ignoring the devestating cost of the loss of human life .

Universal health care insurance for all Americans seems like an impossible dream and President Bush will fight this insane war until his last day in office.

Saturday, November 17

Weekend Update

Friday came and went and was thankfully, very uneventful . The good news is that mum is still doing well. She came along to St Andrews College in Aurora to watch Colin play his first basketball game for Ridley . We had a great day . Mum had amazing stamina to sit in a freezing gym on hard benches watching the boys play and we even made it into the little town of Aurora for a wander along the main street. "Tis the season now for church christmas fairs and we wandered into the local Anglican church and sat down and had lunch in the hall. It was a change and,more importantly, an opportunity to relax and be together .

Thursday, November 15

Is it Friday yet ?

I've had better days. Mum and I heard about the very sudden death of the only brother of a friend.This followed on the heels of the news of the death of a friend of mine last week . I ended the day after calling the police to my home about a long standing issue (nothing to do with any family ) . It was quite unpleasant and unexpected .

The whole day was a complete bust .

On a good note, mum still looks and feels great . She has lost quite a lot of weight though and I have noticed that the clothes she bought for her trip are a little loose. She manages a few bites of food and then feels full . It's not easy , especially as her taste buds are affected by the radiation .

Oh well, tomorrow is another day . Deep breath ...begin again .

Tuesday, November 13

Recharging and renewal

It's been a busy and active few days . Mum is very well. She's got hardly any pain, improved nausea and is basically feeling quite settled. I've noticed that she's a lot better at pacing herself. If she has one busy day, she will try to take it easy the next . This seems to work for her and enable her to recharge and make the most of whatever activity she's got planned .

This is a nice little lull ..... no doctors appointments, no Roswell Park, no hectic rushing around .Long may it continue ....

Saturday, November 10

A Boys weekend

Mum at the batting cage !
Mum should still be on her cruise . Instead she's helping me out this weekend with Colin and his pal from school. It's been a real boys weekend...video games, go karting and a gangster movie . Today we went to an incredibly noisy game arcade . Mum was fantastic and agreed to join us and provide me with some moral support. I suspect she knew that my reserves were running a little thin and just the thought of more pre-teen stuff was enough to put me over the edge!

Mum has always been 100% there for Colin . No boy could have a better grandma. I think he knows it too.

Wednesday, November 7

Reality Check !

Mum and Doug should have been in the warm Carribean waters by now ! This was mum this morning on my balcony. It is absolutely FREEZING today . Grey, yuck and cold ! Oh, well,c'est la vie ! She feels great and is on top form which is all that really counts . I'm dropping her off at Doug's on my way down to St Catherine's to pick Colin up for his mid-term school break .

It's going to be five straight days entertaining two pre-teen boys . Hmmm....Am I up for the job ?

Tuesday, November 6

Talismans

tal·is·man –noun,
1. a stone, ring, or other object, engraved with figures or characters supposed to possess occult powers and worn as an amulet or charm.
2. any amulet or charm.
3. anything whose presence exercises a remarkable or powerful influence on human feelings or actions.

This image is from a very talented digital artist Donna Miller and it's a digital reminder or talisman that all we have is today, right now, this second. My mum is a reminder of the image as she simply embraces the possibility of every new day . She's always been an (sometimes impossibly so) joyful person. When I was a child she always tried to inject sheer fun into my life . Every birthday was a big celebration , she took me to dancing lessons, swimming drama ,horseriding and many other things I can't possibly remember !

There's not one "skill" from my childhood that is of any practical use to me now as an adult . Everything I did was for the challenge and pleasure alone. Now, as a parent myself , I cringe at the thought that I might be tempted "hot house" Colin into something that he has no interest in whatsoever. He is playing the cello now at school and the dreadful scratchings make me wonder if I should immediately sign him up for extra lessons ? I resist the temptation though because I can see that he is just taking pleasure in trying out something new and occupying his own musical space . There's no external pressure, no one to judge him , it's just about a chance to dream and aspire .

The opportunity to be very self-deterministic was probably the greatest gift from my childhood.It's been my own personal talisman or amulet that I metaphorically hang around my neck. Like my mum, I'm a dreamer and a planner . There's nothing better than the prospect of an empty day . I'd rather make plans that fail than have nothing at all to look forward to.

We have the "now" but we also have the glorious opportunity to use our days as a launch pad into the future . The future can be long or it can be as short as an afternoon walking the dog or a good movie on television.

A new day gives us possibilities . Pragmatism and a sad deferral of wishes and desires doesn't hold a ton of interest for either myself or my mother !

Saturday, November 3

My other favourite place

Probably one of the reasons I like the vineyards of Niagara so much is that they remind me of South Africa and in particular, Capetown. I came across this photo of Constantia today and I just had to post it. The Cape has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth.

Fall

Gorgeous Niagara views


A beautiful lunch


A stunning fall day













What could be more perfect than a perfect day ?

Thursday, November 1

Calm

It's odd really. This past week as been remarkable for it's almost total lack of anything to blog about . Mum is really quite well. She's back and forth between her condo and Doug's place as he is largely confined to home due to a problem with his foot . Colin is calm and settled at school and I am feeling quite relaxed and peaceful . The days have been marked by their relative predictability.Even the weather finally feels more like Autumn.

Is it possible that we have finally reached a period of normality ? It seems almost a dull aspiration , but something I welcome with open arms .

I want to shout(blog) this outloud ...Shine on the mundane, the routine and the boring. Let it rain the humdrum , weary tasks of life .

These simple things of life are the elements that anchor us and provide safe harbour in the event of a storm.