It's about 11 pm and I'm sitting with mum in the hospital room . It's quiet and surprisingly peaceful here . Poor mum is really in a lot of pain . She is on heavy dose of morphine, a pain patch , Decadron (again ) and Ativan and surprisingly ...she's still reasonably alert . She's comfortable as long as she doesn't swallow . She can't cough either and so the nurses have her breathing into a tube just to try and keep her airways clear . I don't feel too anxious though . She is well looked after and I think it is a matter of time - the radiation to that area has finished and now she just has to heal. Andrew sensibly reminded me tonight that we need to take it one day at a time , just focus on the immediate problem and not worry unnecessarily . I have a tendency to let my mind wander to the "what ifs " and it was good to chat to him about my concerns. The fact that mum has had very little to eat is not a big deal ....she'll hate me for saying this .....but it's not as if she is that slim to begin with .....She has a few pounds in reserve !!!!!The hospital is completely different once the sun goes down. It is located in a rough area in downtown Buffalo and in order to get inside after 9pm, you have to buzz security . They will drive me to the hotel and/or escort me to the car in the parking lot once I have finished visiting mum . The streets are mainly deserted and it's quite an strange atmosphere being out at night . It's not as if there are any weird people lurking around - I've seen much worse in Toronto ,but the depressing thing about this area is that the downtown core of Buffalo is largely vacant despite a recent economic resurgence . The big medical campus is quite obviously a major player in terms of the economy but there's not much else here. Despite the obvious economic woes , the people are warm and friendly . The community here in downtown Buffalo (predominantly African American ) is more vibrant in some ways than its uptight neighbours to the north and I am really getting to appreciate this unique city .
I'm just glad this day is over and mum is settled . Despite the fact she is in some pain, she looks reasonably well and strong.
