It was'nt a good day again for mum. The thrush is extremely uncomfortable and she is barely eating or drinking . She has stopped the Decadron completely though and this should help sort things out. The radiation is a lot more extensive now as they are radiating the hip and spots in the pelvis and sacrum. The radiation today took about half an hour as they had to do the necessary adjustments to ensure that they are precisely pin-pointing the problem areas.
After lunch (custard) mum took extra pain killers and tried to sleep . I returned to Oakville and picked Colin up from his Dad's house. He was pleased to see me and full of his usual chatter. He was desperate to spend his birthday money and so I ended up dragging around the mall . It was'nt the greatest evening and I felt tired and irritable, mostly worried about my mum back at the Doubletree.

I had plenty of time in the waiting room today and started thinking about the whole notion of being a "survivor" . This typically means someone who has lived five years or more from the initial diagnosis of cancer. In my mothers case this would mean she is an "uber-survivor" three times over as she was originally diagnosed in 1992. Instead of the word "survivor" , I have always preferred the word "thriver" which implies that an individual can live a productive and positive life in spite of their illness and possibly with alternating periods of active disease and remission. I picked up an interesting article in Heal which featured Julia Rowland ,Director of the National Cancer Institute's Office Of Cancer Survivorship. She discussed the concept of "optimal care" which is care as she describes it that "allows you to minimize the costs of survival (physical, emotional,social, economic), maximize your health outcomes and enable you to be as successful as possible in achieving your goals in the conext of this illness. It makes available to you the resources you need to do this,and gives you hope and meaning for a life beyond your illness and treatment "

As I mentioned yesterday , "optimal care" is what I believe my mother is receiving right now at Roswell Park and in particular the radiation oncology department is at the forefront of this approach. The radiation cannot possibly treat every area of disease in my mothers body and at the moment they have focused on the two areas that have the potential to be the most problematic. The goal of this treatment is to allow her to be reasonably active and pain free - a cancer "thriver". Of course, no one can predict the future course of her illness as the epidural disease is largely resistant to chemotherapy, but for now they feel that they can achieve good quality of life hopefully in the long term . There is no perfect scenario , aside from my mum making a spontaneous recovery, but in the absence of that, there is plenty of room for optimism.

Attitude is an integral part of coping with cancer and my mother is unbelievably stoic. I have hardly heard her complain . Like everyone, she gets anxious and churned up , but there is a mental toughness about her that allows her to see beyond the present trials and tribulations.
I may feel a bit weary right now with everything that has gone on, but my mum is the one that is enduring this with courage and fortitude.