"However long the night, the dawn will break "
African Proverb
The day started off OK with the Dippin' Dots for breakfast but that was probably the highlight of the day. The plan is to try and get mum back to the Doubletree (and home) as soon as possible . The problem is that she can only take very little by mouth and it is difficult to get enough oral pain medication to allow her to get off the i.v morphine . The doctor has doubled the dose of the pain patch and hopefully this will help. Unfortunately , her picc line become detached this morning and she had to get a new one re-inserted. This was very painful and when she came up to the room her arm was bleeding quite badly . The nurses were fantastic and ultra-efficient . They changed her robe and sheets on the bed quickly and and sorted it all out. Later on, we tried to go for a walk but it was probably a bit ambitious because she ended up coughing badly and feeling very weak and breathless. She needed a wheelchair to get back into the room. It was then back to trying to swallow the evening medicine , which takes forever - liquid oxcodone , Gelclair and Sucrafate .
It's dark in this room and a calm descends over the ward at night. The crowds are gone and so has the volunteer with the cute dog , the magazine cart lady and the whirl of activity . This is the lonely time .The time when it's quite apparent that despite everything that modern medicine can throw at mum and lots of support and caring she is essentially alone with this .
I wish I could take her place right now .
Sleep will help. It calms her body and mind and allows for the body's natural healing process to take over . I've given up saying that she's "getting better" . This is not a simple upward trajectory . the "tincture of time" is the very best remedy . I keep saying to myself ...patience Moira, patience....it's out of your control.
