Wednesday, November 28

A quiet Few days in Oakville

Things didn't go too well when we picked Colin up from school. He had a minor accident involving a door and ended up with concussion . On Monday I got a call from the school to bring him home for "cognitive rest " and so he has been receiving TLC from mum (Moira). We've watched endless reruns of "The O.C" ,a show he likes on T.V and having a laugh watching "Fawlty Towers" and "Little Britain". Colin loves British comedy. It's something about the wry, sardonic humour that tickles his funnybone !

Mum is doing extremely well . Her appetite seems better recently. Chinese food and pizza on the weekend and she seems more active and positive. She's bound to have had some niggling stress about the brain MRI .The positive results will undoubtedly lift her spirits. We are back at Roswell on Thursday for an appointment with the dentist . This works out well as we will drop Colin off at school on the way down and pick him up on Friday as usual .

It's getting very cold and wintry now and so we have to be quite aware of the weather forecast. There's a big snow storm blowing into Buffalo today . Odd,as it's a gorgeous sunny morning in Oakville.

Friday, November 23

On the way home

It will be good to get back . While the Doubletree is nice, it gets wearing after a couple of days . Mum is scheduled to have an endoscopy done on December 6th to try to get to the bottom of the nausea . She will be sedated and the whole thing will probably take up most of the day .

Hmmmm..... the next couple of weeks are going to involve a lot of backwards and forwards to Buffalo . It was good to have that break last month . I find a hospital is a bit like a casino , there are lots of flashing lights , rooms with no windows and the results are basically a metaphorical roll of the dice .

The good news is that we get to pick Colin up at school today . It seems like a long time since I saw him . He missed his basketball game this week due to bad weather and he has two tests today and end of term exams in two weeks . It's hard to believe that his first term at Ridley will soon be over . I can't even imagine how I would have managed everything with mum if Colin was'nt a boarder and more importantly, happy and settled at school .

Thursday, November 22

Hello From Celia

Hello everybody, this is a photo of me taken on a cold winter , freezing Buffalo day . That is why I am wearing my hat. Do you like it ? Moira and I went to a really lovely restaurant this evening for American thanksgiving.

At long last, this is really me writing on the blog! It has been several months now and I haven't really been at my computer at all. However, I am using Moira's blog to say a big, big thank you to all of you who have sent me emails, letters, cards , presents etc etc etc . There are too many of you to thank individually.

I would however like to give a special thanks to my nephew Frank Booth who came all the way from New Zealand for two weeks to help and support me. I was very touched and I just cannot thank him enough . We've had some good laughs Frank and you were very, very patient with me (particularly in the hospital !) .

I'd like to also also mention my friend Viv for her constant letters of support and to my cousin Sheila - thank you Sheila for that lovely CD . Thanks also to Anne and Peter for their constant good wishes .

Mainly , I would like to thank Moira and Andrew. I think Moira's blog is first class and she has never left my side since the day the illness was first diagnosed. We've also had lots of laughter together . Andrew, what can I say about you ? You have been over from BC to Ontario several times to be with me, you've sat with me in hospital , even though I know it's not one of your favourite places . Andrew has topped everything by organized a lovely trip to Cancun for all of us at Christmas. It will be so wonderful to be with all my grandchildren .

I cannot finish without saying a thank you to my friends in Oakville and of course Doug - you have always been there for me .

I am feeling much, much better now and it looks as though the treatment is working. I am feeling very positive and I'm almost back to normal. I will still have to be a regular visitor to the hospital in Buffalo . Everyone here has been so kind and I could not have done this without Moira always driving me , Andrew paying all the hotel expenses and Doug for handling all the insurance paperwork.


I promise to write to you all individually before Christmas.

Thanks again and bye, bye for now.

Celia .

Happy (American ) Thanksgiving

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance,chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpectedinto perfect timing and mistakes into important events.Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”— Melodie Beattie







This was a beautiful editorial in the Buffalo news today . It was so good , I just had to share it . It's been a cold, wet thanksgiving here in Buffalo and we spent most of the day huddled in our cosy room at the Doubletree !

The grateful heart Counting our blessings is never enough. We need to pass them on.

Today is a holiday. So we will give that editorial part of ourselves that is never satisfied — that voice that views with alarm, thunders for action or fairly oozes with disappointment, that personality that comes down out of the hills after the battle to shoot the wounded — the day off.

Instead, we will do this day, Thanksgiving Day, the honor of taking it seriously. But not passively. Because it is the function of this space to call for something, even on holidays. We will commend your attention to the virtues of thankfulness, of gratitude, even of acceptance, as a foundation for a well-lived life.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, it is the parentof all the others.”— Cicero

To be grateful for what one has is not the same as being an overstuffed lump in front of the television, pleasant and well-honored as today’s tradition might be. Nor does thankfulness mean a resigned acceptance of things that are truly wrong, in your life, the lives of others or the happenings in your community and around the world.

But to be thankful, to feel it and express it, can drain the selfishness, and the self-pity, out of how a person looks at life and chooses to live it. It is hard to be truly thankful for secure families, warm homes, full bellies, thriving children and healthy bodies, or whatever portion of that one may have, without on some level pledging to preserve it for oneself and wishing the same for others.

To only denigrate what one has, to focus on the feeling that it is not enough, not so much as the other person has, not as nice as life looks on TV or in the slick magazines, is the road to neither personal fulfillment nor social responsibility. That kind of thanklessness leads to the soul-eating discontent that causes jealousy, envy and conflict, that encourages crime both on the street and in the executive suite, and can turn life into a never-ending competition for goods or status that can never be fully achieved.

“The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.No Americans have been more impoverished than these who,nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.”— H.U. Westermayer

As easy as it is to forget in our turkey-gorged stupor, the history of Thanksgiving in America is not one of merely sitting at the table and receiving an extra large helping of all the good things life has provided us up to now.

Thanksgiving is a holiday created by the suffering Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony, who barely survived their first winter in their strange new land. It was made official by Abraham Lincoln, even as he presided over what he rightly described as “a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity,” suffering that he interpreted as punishment for the nation’s sin of slavery. In neither case did appreciation for the good that life offered rise from a perfect existence. In neither case did it lead to anything other than a desire, a duty, to build upon whatever there was to be thankful for, to share it with family, with countrymen and with posterity. In both cases, the choice to see the good — and it is a choice — provided an encouragement to
make it still better for still more people.

“One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay ‘in kind’ somewhere else in life.”— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Americans who have much to be thankful for, and that includes nearly all of us, are drawn to family and friends at this time of year. In part, that attraction is a way to express, with our mere presence if not in actual words, the gratitude we feel toward them for the many favors they have done for us. But the list of those who have created our society and our world is so long, and goes so far back in time, that it is impossible to repay, reward, even to praise, all those we owe.

So accept the gifts, but don’t even try to pay them back. Pass them on. Express thankfulness in ways great and small, from words of kindness to a stranger, to voluntary service for local causes, to a willingness to pay one’s taxes and then pay attention to make sure the money goes for the proper purposes.

The devotion to improving our lives, our communities and our nation need not, and most often does not, arise from resentment or anger. It comes from a feeling that to whom much is given, much is also expected.

Much has been given us. Much more will follow, as long as we are thankful.

Reproduced from the Buffalo News November 22nd 2007

Wednesday, November 21

The Latest on Mum

Today was a long day . The good news was that again, mums brain is "unremarkable" and there is "no evidence of intracranial mass lesions". Her blood work was great , CEA is 2.3 , down from 3.2 in October and her CA 27-29 is 4.3, down from 4.5 . Dr O'Conner and the nurses felt that mum looked very well . Her weight has dropped to 162 lbs but that was not an issue for concern .
With respect to the weight loss, there's no doubt that mum has two issues going on. She has the ongoing nausea and she feels her taste buds have been affected from the radiation . The only food she really enjoys now is very spicy flavours and she can only eat a few bites .

But ...... we couldn't get out of the hospital without one thing going wrong . Turns out , mum went to the dentist on Oakville last week and she suspected that mum may have a wisdom tooth growing . When mum mentioned this to Dr O'Conner, she was'nt too happy because the issue that comes to her mind is osteonecrosis of the jaw - a potential , but rare, side effect of Zometa . She said that she wants mum to see Dr Maureen Sullivan a dental oncologist at Roswell for follow up .
The Zometa infusion was cancelled for today and if there is bone necrosis, mum may have to stop the drug permanently . Obviously, this is worrying, but we don't want to jump to any conclusions right now until we know what we are dealing with . Hopefully it is something that can be sorted out and mum can resume the Zometa . The drug is working for her and it would be best to continue for as long as possible . Dr O'Conner did reassure mum that if Zometa had to be discontinued, she may already have had the maximum positive impact on the bones .There is a shortage of clinical trials to establish optimal dosing for Zometa . It's not 100% clear if the Zometa even needs to be given monthly after a certain point .

My sense is that the Zometa and the Aromasin have done wonders for mum . Compared to the worry in the summer that she was at risk for hip fracture and other ghastly things, she is bouncing around like a new person !

Postscript

Yes, I admit it, I was in a bad mood last night when blogged about the insane amounts of money being spent on the war . It is simplistic I know to link the cost of the war with problems of health insurance for many Americans . The thing is, that the longer you spend in Buffalo, the more you are aware of the grinding poverty that exists literally the next block over from one of the finest hospitals in the nation. We would be in total la la land NOT to notice the differences .

Tuesday, November 20

Back in Buffalo

Here we go again ....this time it's a busy week. Mum had an MRI brain scan today , she's got Dr O'Conner Wednesday and a G.I test on Friday focusing on her stomach and oesophagus to try and get to the cause of the nausea .

Thursday is Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S and Friday marks an orgy of shopping. Some stores in the Walden Galleria mall are opening at 4am to allow mad bargain shoppers to get a head start. Now that the Canadian Dollar is so strong, you see the parking lot of the mall littered with discarded old clothes , bags and boxes . The Canadians like the great deals and avoiding duty is almost becoming a bit of a game !

Right by a trash can at the entrance to the mall we saw a discarded pair of Ugg Boots . I couldn't believe it and immediately grabbed them (but they were a size 7 ) The former owner had obviously purchased an even better, nicer pair of boots and just dumped her old ones .

While people are picking up bargains at Target, there is an ethical emergancy in this country and the lack of accessible healthcare is only the tip of the iceberg.

On our drive home, late at night , through the deserted downtown Buffalo streets and boarded up buildings we saw plenty of shopping carts . This time they were full and were pushed by shuffling homeless men and women .

Something is broken here ....how is it possible in this wealthy economy that such abject poverty coexists with enormous affluence ? President Bush has recently asked congress for $200 billion in supplemental financing for war operations but has pledged to veto a children's health bill standing before congress . Apparently , he said something about the president’s responsibility to rein in lawmakers’ “temptation to overspend.”

Starting at Sept. 11, 2001, war-fighting expenses total in excess of a staggering $800 billion and that's ignoring the devestating cost of the loss of human life .

Universal health care insurance for all Americans seems like an impossible dream and President Bush will fight this insane war until his last day in office.